Men have been lied to for generations. They have been told that showing emotions and talking about feelings is not for them.

It’s one of the many reasons why men won’t go to therapy. They believe, because they’ve been told for generations, that they can do it on their own.

They’ve been told that being strong means never asking for help and instead finding solutions for themselves, but what happens when there is no solution? When there doesn’t seem to be any other way forward except to continue to hide behind the internally crumbling facade of strength?

In this article, we’ll talk about the important topic of men’s mental health, including the history, symptoms, and how to break the generational bonds of being told that strength means doing it on your own.

History of Men’s Mental Health

To understand questions like: 

• Why won’t men go to therapy?
• Why are men’s suicide rates so high?
• Why don’t men talk to their friends about mental health?

We need to understand the history of men’s mental health.

Mental illness has historically been associated with women. Much of this focus started in backwards thinking, malpractice, and the destruction of women’s lives, but now women are more likely to access psychological therapies than men.

And that’s not because men are more resilient than women. No matter the century, men and women have experienced physiological distress.

“Being a Man”

The way men have been taught to approach mental health is unhealthy.

Historically, boys have been told they need to be “strong” and independent while keeping their emotions to themselves. This belief is all-encompassing. If you’re hurt, don’t cry; if you’re stressed, don’t let anyone know, man up, and get over it.

This kind of thinking causes major damage to men as they feel they can’t ask for help and instead internalize their struggles until eventually they burn out or snap.

Is Men’s Mental Health Important?

No matter your gender, sex, culture, skin color, religion, or identity, mental health is an important part of living. Men need to take their mental health seriously and do what they can to break the generational pressure to hide their emotions.

A High Suicide Rate

Across the globe, men are facing a high suicide rate. In Britain, over three-quarters of suicides are among men; in America, male suicide rates are four times higher than those of women; in Japan, men account for 70% of suicides; globally, men’s suicide rate is twice that of women.

These numbers point to the truth that men aren’t receiving, or seeking, the mental health services they need. Men’s mental health is important because they clearly need help.

Men’s Mental Health Symptoms

Anyone can develop a mental health disorder or condition. However, they may manifest in slightly different ways based on culture and identity. For example, a woman dealing with parental guilt will have different stressors and expectations than a man dealing with parental guilt. It’s a similar issue, but in a different context.

For men, experiencing any mental health disorder can create feelings of guilt, shame, anger, and hopelessness. These are the side effects many men face when experiencing a mental health condition:

• Frustration, irritability, and angry outbursts
• Changes in appetite, mood level, and energy level
• Difficulty concentrating and feeling on edge
• Increased stress levels
• Sleep issues like sleeping too much or too little
• Abuse of substances like alcohol
• Persistent feelings of hopelessness
• Pursuing high-risk activities
• Unexplainable physical issues like headaches and GI issues
• Obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors
• Behaviors and thoughts that interfere with social, work, and family life
• Suicidal ideation and thoughts of death

Many of these issues originate from men feeling incapable of asking for help for mental health issues. So not only are they dealing with the original issue, there’s the new issue of not being able to talk about it.

How to Address Men’s Mental Health

The good news is that there are a lot of resources available for men silently suffering from mental health conditions. However, there is no way to avoid the awkwardness.

Addressing your mental health for the first time as a man is going to be a struggle–at first. You’re going to have to push yourself out of your comfort zone and trust the process.

Invite Friends Over

Any friends who won’t push you closer to negative habits would be preferred. 

Men are having issues with friendships. There’s been a steep decline in men with close friends. Maybe that’s you, maybe you don’t have anyone you feel like you can confidently rely on.

The first step in fixing this issue is inviting people over. It might be awkward, but it will be worth it, and the other men you invite will appreciate it.

Cultivate Friendships

Friendships are vital for building a support system for your mental health. Some people make better support persons than others, but friendships are vital.

As a man, you can cultivate friendships in several ways:

• Enjoy a Shared Activity: Male friendships begin shoulder-to-shoulder while sharing experiences. Join a team, club, or take a class. Just doing something with other men is an important start.
• Stay in Contact: Reaching out to your guys often will build a sense of community and help bond your group together. Even simple “hope you're having a good day” texts will go a long way.
• Be Vulnerable: This one’s a big step for most men, but the sooner you’re willing to talk openly about your emotions, the sooner you’ll be building healthy connections with other men.

Start Talking

Sadly, it’s not considered “normal” for men to have conversations about their mental health. For your own sake, and the sake of men everywhere, this has to change.

Start normalizing conversations about mental health, healthy habits, and seeking professional help.

It might be awkward at first; you might be the only guy opening up, but over time, you’ll be healthier for it, and hopefully, the other men around you will be too.

Practice Mindfulness

Men like fixing things. They like doing things that lead to a goal. Men can harness this natural tendency to start building helpful strategies that boost mindfulness.

Mindfulness is the ability to be present and aware of the current moment, as well as acceptance of internal experiences. Higher mindfulness means

• Reduced stress
• Boosted working memory
• Increased focus
• Reduced emotional reactions
• Increased relationship satisfaction
• More adaptable when things change

Mindfulness is like a muscle that should be worked out frequently. Men can adopt the following activities to increase their mindfulness:

• Journaling: This can be a good transition for men who aren’t comfortable with expressing their feelings. A journal is a personal document that’s for no one else. Write about how you’re feeling, how your day went, or anything else. A journal can act as a mirror and help you digest what you’re experiencing internally.
• Mindful Movement: These exercises can range from yoga poses to daily walks. The key to performing them is to take them slowly and really think about how your body feels during the movement. Yoga is the most common form of mindfulness movement, but even walking while taking in the sounds, smells, and feelings is a great start.
• Micro-Meditation: This technique is easy to employ during a busy schedule. The key takeaway is to take a quick second with your thoughts or sensations. This can include tapping into your senses, focusing on breathing, and using tactile distractions.
• Mindful Breathing: Breathing exercises help in various ways, including giving you the time to think, increasing blood flow, and bringing oxygen throughout your body. Practice mindful breathing by inhaling and exhaling slowly in a rhythmic pattern. Close your eyes and consider the sensation of the breathing leaving and entering your body.

Related Article: Mindfulness skills and anxiety

Attend Therapy

Many men see going to therapy as a sign of weakness. They see it as an admission that something is wrong with them. However, going to therapy is actually a sign of strength.

It takes courage to stand up to the generational lies you’ve been told and say, “I need help”. 

It will take time to find a therapist who works. Trust the process. It’s your job to show up and be honest. If you don’t feel comfortable or safe, try a different therapist.

Related Article: How to Email A Therapist

Men’s Mental Health in Mesa, Arizona

Inner Balance Counseling offers counseling and therapy services to every kind of person, including men. We recognize that men bring a unique perspective and often don’t feel heard or safe to open up.

We work with men to break the generational bonds that tell them to keep their mouths shut and keep pressing on. We want to be a place where men feel comfortable being themselves.

Request a consultation and start feeling better.

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