It’s common to feel a rush of anxiety in certain social situations, like walking into a party where you don’t know anyone, running into your ex unexpectedly, or trying to figure out what you're supposed to say at a funeral.

For someone with social anxiety, every social interaction can induce this same level of dread or panic. Whether it’s talking on the phone, speaking to a cashier, or even hanging out with friends, social anxiety can make it feel like you’re always saying the wrong things or others are constantly judging you for “being weird”.

To figure out why even the simplest interactions can feel so overwhelming, let’s take a look at what social anxiety is, what the signs and symptoms are, and how it can be treated.

What Is Social Anxiety?

Social anxiety is often described as the persistent fear of social situations and the potential for scrutiny or judgment from others. It causes someone to feel deeply self-conscious about being judged or embarrassed in situations that most people consider normal.

This type of anxiety causes people to perceive everyday social interactions as dangerous or threatening. It kicks in the body’s fight-or-flight response, and they will feel the need to escape or avoid the situation altogether.

Where Does Social Anxiety Come From?

Certain environmental factors or life experiences are known to increase the likelihood of someone developing social anxiety, and they include:

• Experiencing bullying, especially at a young age
• Having overprotective parents
• Witnessing anxiety in parents
• Living in hypercritical or high-pressure environments
• Traumatic experiences, like abuse or humiliation

In addition to these environmental factors, certain genetic factors can also increase the chance of someone developing social anxiety. 

For example, someone is more likely to develop social anxiety if anxiety runs in their family. Also, specific areas of the brain that regulate fear and anxiety can be impacted by genetics, which increases the likelihood of developing social anxiety.

Read our related article to discover if social anxiety gets worse with age.

What Are The Signs and Symptoms of Social Anxiety?

On the outside, someone with social anxiety can appear to be shy, withdrawn, or antisocial. On the inside, social anxiety can make someone feel like every social interaction is a high-stakes performance.

Someone with social anxiety will usually experience the physical symptoms of anxiety when they’re in an uncomfortable social situation. These physical symptoms include:

• Sweating
• Trembling
• Nausea
• Racing heart
• Feeling lightheaded 
• Rigid body posture

In addition to these physical anxiety symptoms, social anxiety is often characterized by specific avoidance behaviors and deeply-rooted thought patterns and core beliefs.

Read our related article to discover how to stop shaking from anxiety.

Avoidance Behaviors

Some of the most noticeable signs of social anxiety are the avoidance behaviors that someone develops to cope with their fear of being judged or embarrassed. 

These avoidance behaviors can manifest in many different ways, including:

• Hesitating to speak up in groups
• Cancelling social plans due to fear
• Avoiding groups, parties, or hangouts altogether
• Avoiding eye contact
• Using a phone or headphones to avoid socializing
• Physically distancing themselves from others

To someone with social anxiety, these avoidance behaviors can feel like a shield from scrutiny and judgment. Although avoiding social situations can provide short-term comfort, it will actually perpetuate someone’s social anxiety in the long run. 

Over time, these avoidance behaviors will reinforce someone’s fear and anxiety surrounding social interactions. It makes it harder and harder to connect with others, and it prevents someone from facing their fears in a positive, constructive way. 

Read our related article to identify the similarities and differences between social anxiety and autism.

Thought Patterns and Core Beliefs

Social anxiety is more than just general anxiety or vague nervousness. There are specific thought patterns and core beliefs that shape how someone views themselves and the world around them. 

What separates social anxiety from generalized anxiety disorder is the specificity of someone’s fear. Rather than worrying about everything, social anxiety is linked to a specific fear of being seen and judged for who someone truly is.

Those with social anxiety often think that there is something inherently wrong with them, and they believe they will be judged harshly if the world sees the “real” version of them. These thoughts and beliefs seem to be logical to someone with social anxiety, as they’re rooted in the human desire to feel accepted by others. 

How Is Social Anxiety Treated?

If you believe that you have social anxiety, it’s important to talk to a mental health professional. Talking to a mental health professional can help you receive an accurate diagnosis and get the treatment you need to live life on your terms.

Treating social anxiety usually involves psychotherapies like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). In many cases, treating social anxiety requires a trauma-informed approach to heal someone’s mental health issues at its core. 

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT is one of the most common forms of psychotherapy, and it can be particularly effective at treating anxiety disorders like social anxiety. It works by bridging the gap between someone’s thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. 

CBT helps someone identify and reverse the harmful thoughts that lead to negative feelings, which in turn leads to avoidance behaviors and negative coping mechanisms. It not only helps someone reframe the negative perceptions that they have about themselves and the world around them, but it also teaches them how to cope with anxiety in a positive, helpful way.

Learn more about cognitive behavioral therapy at Inner Balance Counseling.

Trauma-Informed Approach to Therapy

Since social anxiety is often rooted in traumatic experiences, many mental health professionals will take a trauma-informed approach to therapy. 

This approach recognizes the harmful impact that trauma has on someone’s mental health, and it emphasizes the importance of safety, trust, and empowerment. By taking a trauma-informed approach to therapy, someone can not only experience relief from the symptoms of social anxiety, but they can also heal from the trauma that’s at the root of their mental health issues.  

Read our related article to answer the question: How long does therapy last?

How Can You Cope With Social Anxiety?

While it’s best to work with a mental health professional who can guide you along your healing journey, there are several strategies that can help you cope with social anxiety on your own. 

If you would like to start exploring ways to cope with anxiety on your own, consider the following recommendations:

• Write down what is worrying you and place it into a box with the intention to not think about it
• Practice mindfulness and learn to notice and observe your thoughts and feelings about anxiety in a non-judgmental way
• Practice breathwork, focusing on inhaling for 4 counts, pausing for 4 counts, exhaling for 4 counts, and then pausing again for 4 counts before repeating the cycle
• Practice self-compassion and go at your own pace when experiencing social anxiety

Coping with social anxiety in a healthy way will empower you to overcome your fears and reclaim your sense of safety and confidence in social situations. It takes time and patience, but with consistent effort, the right support, and self-compassion, it’s entirely possible to break the cycle of fear and avoidance.

Break Free From Social Anxiety and Live Life On Your Terms

Overcoming social anxiety can be hard to navigate, but you don’t have to do it alone. 

At Inner Balance, our mental health experts can help you manage your anxiety, heal from your traumatic experiences, and build confidence in social settings. Every therapist at Inner Balance Counseling goes through intensive training to be trauma-informed, and we work hard to create a safe space for healing and empowerment.

Reach out today to connect with a mental health professional and take the first steps towards your healing journey.