Relationships are hard.

It requires vulnerability, knowing what you want, and an ability to stand up for yourself. For many, those requirements are too much. However, there are a lot of people who are unsure how to know if they’re ready for a relationship.

At Inner Balance, we offer individual counseling specifically for people who want to want to focus on their relationship issues. This includes understanding whether they’re ready for a relationship and what they need to work on in order to be ready. 

Learn more about relationship counseling at Inner Balance.

While relationship counseling helps people and their individual needs, there are a few universal truths everyone needs to understand. In this article, we’ll cover all the signs that you’re ready to enter a relationship or start dating. We’ll also talk about all the signs that you’re not ready for a relationship.

10 Signs You’re Ready for A Relationship

You may be ready to step into a relationship and start dating without even knowing. These 10 tips will let you know if you’re ready for a relationship.

1. You Know Who You Are

Having a healthy understanding of who you are is important for healthy dating. This includes recognizing how past experiences have shaped your current self as well as understanding what your overall goals in life are.

What are the things you care about? Why do you want to start dating? What are you interested in?

Being self-aware of yourself will help you find a partner who aligns with your values and goals.

Related Articles: 10 Reasons to Go to Therapy

2. You Understand What You Want

If you’re unsure what you’re looking for in a relationship, it’s best to stay out of the dating pool. While dating can help you learn what you want or don’t want in a relationship, it’s a good idea to understand what you want and what you are not willing to compromise on.

By knowing what you want, you’ll save yourself time, heartache, and frustration. If you know you’re interested in finding a serious relationship with someone you can settle down with and have kids with, it’s important that whoever you date is on the same page.

It may seem strange to bring up long-term relationship goals early on in a relationship, but doing so will make relationships healthier.

3. You’re Happy Being Single

You know you’re ready for a relationship when you don’t feel like you need one to be happy. One of the worst things you can do in a romantic relationship is to expect the other person to complete your happiness.

Before entering the dating pool or a relationship, spend some time on yourself and discover what makes you happy.

4. You’ve Processed Past Hurts

Whether you like it or not, your past relationships and experiences influence your relationships. That includes past trauma related to dating, family dynamics, and your family's history.

Dealing with past hurts and processing trauma is a helpful way to prepare yourself for a relationship. You’ll be less likely to backslide into cognitive distortions and self-sabotaging behaviors.

Consider whether or not you’re able to think about the good and bad of past relationships while still feeling hopeful for current or new relationships.

Related Articles: How an Abusive Childhood Affects Adult Relationships, What is Codependency in Families?, Codependency vs Interdependency

5. You’re Open to Compromise

A healthy relationship will include compromise where appropriate. This is all about being willing to talk through things and find a solution that you and your partner can agree on. 

Obviously, you should know what you’re not willing to compromise on, but how willing are you to budge on the little things? Working through issues of compromise is a sign of maturity, and it takes patience and empathy.

6. You Healthily Deal With Criticism and Rejection

Dating is filled with rejection. The likelihood of you finding “the one” on the first try is astronomically low, and most people aren’t even looking for “the one”. Because dating requires rejection, it’s important to be ready for it. 

Within a relationship, there will be times when your partner doesn’t agree with something you did or criticize you. Constant criticism and rejection should not be tolerated in a relationship, but frustrations, bad days, and genuine feedback are going to happen.

Related Article: Is Fighting Healthy in a Relationship?

7. You’ve Developed Communication Skills

Good communication is at the core of every healthy relationship. Your partner cannot read your mind, and you can’t read theirs. That’s why it’s important to develop good communication skills on your own and within a relationship.

Relationships are easier when you’re comfortable with being vulnerable and talking openly about your feelings. This doesn’t mean spilling everything on the first date, but at least being willing to let others know how you’re feeling. This also goes for being willing to her someone else share their feeling.

8. You Have Healthy Boundaries

Boundaries are very important for dating. Standing up for yourself while respecting others is a skill, but it’s one that you should have before entering a relationship. Without healthy boundaries, you can lose yourself. Don’t let others walk over you.

Boundaries can be set by having a conversation, but they can also be set by saying “no”. 

It may be hard to know whether or not you’re good at setting boundaries in a relationship. Think about the relationships you have with family and friends. Are you good at saying no to things you aren’t comfortable with and communicating what you are and aren’t willing to do?

9. You Have a Good Understanding of Your Triggers

Relationships require a level of vulnerability. This can put some people at a higher risk of being triggered or retraumatized. Old wounds can be reopened with new relationships. Knowing and managing your triggers can help make tense situations of frustration less damaging for you and your partner.

10. You know it will be Hard

Dating can be fun. However, it’s most often challenging.

Having a realistic understanding that there will be awkward, uncomfortable, and downright horrendous dates will make your dating experience healthy and healthy.

If you’re ready to accept that dating is a challenge, then you’re one step closer to being ready for a relationship.

How to Know You’re Not Ready For a Relationship

If you really want to know if you’re not ready for a relationship, you need to be very honest with yourself. The only way you’ll be able to know that you’re not ready for a relationship is if you practice a certain level of mindfulness.

If you’re confused about your readiness to be in a relationship, a trained counselor can help. Get relationship therapy at Inner Balance Counseling.

You’re Seeking Validation

It’s going to take a lot of honesty to learn if the reason you want a relationship is for validation. However, if you feel you’re unhappy with your life and that a relationship will fix that, that’s a good sign you aren’t ready for a relationship.

We mentioned that finding happiness outside of a relationship is an important indicator of knowing you’re ready for a relationship. And that’s because it’s unfair to expect your partner to fulfill your happiness. 

No one will be able to completely fulfill your happiness. If you enter a relationship expecting this, your relationship will likely crash and burn. It’s also a formula for developing negative attachment styles and dependency.

Related Article: Disorganized Attachment Styles

You Don’t Know What You Want

The relationships you enter should match your values and goals. Even if it’s a no-strings-attached fling, you and the other person must understand what you’re looking for.

If you don’t have well-defined values and intentions, you’re more likely to become entangled in relationships that are harmful to you. 

You’re Emotionally Unavailable

Relationships require vulnerability. That includes talking about feelings and opening up emotionally. If you feel unable to open up emotionally or find yourself keeping conversations service level, you may not be ready for a relationship.

You don’t need to go telling your life story to everyone you meet, but if you’re uncomfortable with sharing, you’re probably not ready.

Related Article: Fawn Trauma Response

It’s Ok To Be Not Ready

Relationships can be complex and hard to navigate. If you are not ready emotionally and mentally, dating will become extremely challenging, and you’re more likely to get hurt.

Recognizing that you’re not ready for a relationship takes a high level of mindfulness and, for many, a lot of courage. Knowing you’re not ready for a relationship shows a lot of maturity.

What To Do If You’re Unsure if You’re Ready For A Relationship?

If you find yourself in a position where you are unsure if you’re ready for a relationship, but you’re interested in knowing, meeting with a trained counselor can help. 

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The counselors at Inner Balance are dedicated to helping people live their lives according to their own terms. Facing the old habits and negative thoughts that are holding them back. This includes navigating relationships and developing important skills that are vital for attracting and growing healthy relationships.

Find help for life's daily challenges and relationships at Inner Balance Counseling. Request a consultation to get started.