When Your Therapist Challenges You—Exploring the Role of Therapists and Why They Challenge You

Sometimes, therapy can be a comforting space for you to express your emotions, thoughts, and concerns. Other times, therapy can be a challenging experience that pushes you outside of your comfort zone. Therapy is supposed to make us feel better, so why can it be difficult and challenging at times?

There are several misconceptions surrounding the role of therapists, and this can make it hard to know what to expect when attending therapy. The main objective of therapy is to help you achieve personal growth. Sometimes, the best way to help you grow is by overcoming challenges and facing hard truths.

At Inner Balance, we want to provide you with a place to grow. However, we understand that growth isn't without growing pains. Our goal is to help you expand your perspectives and become the best version of yourself. Though you may be challenged in the process, we'll be here to support and encourage you every step of the way. Learn more about the different counseling services we offer.

Let’s explore the role of therapists to discover how challenges help you achieve personal growth. 

What Is the Role of aTherapist? Myths vs. Reality

It’s important for clients to have a firm understanding of their therapist’s role in the therapy process. As a client, understanding your therapist’s role will help reduce any confusion surrounding their therapy methods. As a therapist, having a clearly defined role ensures that they can provide a professional and collaborative therapy experience.

Read our related article to answer the question: how long does therapy last?

Common Myths About a Therapist’s Role 

One big misconception surrounding the role of a therapist is that they’re validators. When people discuss their frustrations with their best friend, they expect unwavering support and validation. This mentality often carries over into therapy, and they expect their therapist to completely agree with their thoughts and feelings without offering alternative viewpoints. 

Therapists are also seen as advice givers, and this is also a major misconception. Individuals entering therapy typically expect therapists to give them exact instructions on how to fix their problems. Therapists are mistakenly seen as mentors that give direct advice, rather than mental health professionals that empower them to make their own decisions. 

The Reality of a Therapist’s Role

Your therapist will usually acknowledge and empathize with how you're feeling, but that’s not where it ends. Therapists help you explore the root of your thoughts and emotions to gain personal insights and alternative points of view. Therapy is all about self-discovery, critical thinking, and problem solving. 

Your therapist is also more than just an advice giver. Rather than telling you how to live your life, they teach you how to make well-informed decisions for yourself. It’s just like the old adage: “If you give someone a fish, you feed them for a day. If you teach them how to fish, you feed them for a lifetime.” 

A therapist’s role is to empower their clients with useful strategies for making long-term healthy decisions. They want you to be able to achieve success on your own, not to be reliant on them to make decisions for you. 

Read our related article to discover what to talk about in therapy. 

Why Do Therapists Challenge You? Healthy Challenges vs. Unhealthy Challenges

An important responsibility of therapists is to challenge your harmful thought patterns. This can seem unpleasant at first, but it’s a crucial part of your personal growth. When your therapist challenges you, it’s because they want you to form healthier thoughts, opinions, and behaviors.

Harmful thoughts and behaviors are often at the root of many struggles that you face. Challenging these harmful patterns will empower you to make better decisions, draw healthy boundaries, and achieve the personal growth that you need. Rather than resisting challenges, lean into them. 

Healthy Challenges in Therapy

One way that your therapist will challenge you is by questioning your thoughts and opinions. They may do this by asking for evidence that supports your claims or by asking you to view a situation through a different perspective. This is especially beneficial for clients that are prone to assuming the worst-case scenario or black-and-white thinking. 

Another healthy way that your therapist may challenge you is by encouraging you to engage in activities that may be uncomfortable for you. They may ask you to gradually expose yourself to common situations that create anxiety or face your fears in a methodical way. This helps push you outside of your comfort zone to learn healthier ways of coping with stress, fear, or anxiety.

Read our related article to discover if online therapy is effective.

Unhealthy Challenges in Therapy

Although it’s rare, you may come across a therapist that behaves inappropriately or unethically. If a therapist challenges you based on your gender, orientation, race, or religious beliefs, then they are challenging you in an unhealthy way. A therapist shouldn’t be dismissive of your personal beliefs, life experiences, or trauma. 

Although challenges in therapy should push you outside of your comfort zone, they shouldn’t be harmful or create stress in an unconstructive way. Challenges in therapy are supposed to build you up, not tear you down.

What to Do When Your Therapist Upsets You

It’s important to let your therapist know when they upset you. This gives them an opportunity to explain how their therapy methods help you, rather than hurt you. Most of the time, you can work together on a resolution that helps you feel more comfortable during the therapy process.

If you feel like your therapist isn’t respectful or you can’t trust them, then you may need to find a new therapist. Therapy is a collaborative process that’s built on mutual trust and respect. If you encounter a therapist that behaves unethically or inappropriately, notify the clinic supervisor. 

Inner Balance—Effective, Individualized Counseling Services

At Inner Balance, we strive to stop the cycle of people going in and out of treatment without any real change in their lives. Our mental health experts work closely with each client to identify their needs and develop a healthy strategy for achieving their goals. We approach all of our treatments with the belief that everyone deserves to feel like they are safe and that they belong.

If you or a loved one could benefit from personalized counseling services, reach out to our team of mental health professionals today.