When to Consider Couples Counseling

Think of a relationship as a house. When it’s new, it’s probably in good shape, and it doesn’t take much work to keep it that way. But after some time, you need to change the air filters, clean the gutters, and patch cracks.

Without the proper knowledge and tools, these repairs are easily forgotten or done in correctly, causing the house to quickly fall into disarray. Couples counseling helps couples assess any damage in their relationship and provides tools for future conflicts and maintenance areas.

Couples counseling is not only a last-ditch effort for couples on the verge of divorce. You can even attend couples therapy when dating. 

Related Articles: How to Get the Most out of Couples Counseling

When Things Are Bad

The obvious reason for couple counseling is when things within a relationship have gone bad. Relationships need to be maintained. If maintenance is neglected, then the relationship will start to fall apart.

Constant Fighting

Fighting well is important for any relationship. Those in the relationship need to know how to fight so that when conflict arises (and it will) it’s not explosive.

Healthy fighting is a sign of a healthy relationship, but when the fighting devolves into yelling, throwing things, and harmful responses then there’s a problem.

Related Article: Is Fighting Healthy in a Relationship?: How to Argue Better 

Constant fights often begin with:

• Unhealthy dynamics
• A breakdown in communication
• Underlying issues

Building a healthier relationship requires communication, but when a relationship is marred by constant fighting, communication is borderline impossible. 

Related Article: What to Do if You Yell at Your Partner

Being on the Brink of Separation

When fighting and disagreements have grown to a fever pitch, separation could be on the horizon. Separation and divorce are painful experiences, but relationships can be rebuilt even when things feel hopeless.

Couples counseling is about working through issues and creating harmony within the relationship. You’ll work on becoming healthier individuals and practice communicating better.

Couples counseling can help any relationship at any stage. However, it might not save your relationship. Not every relationship is meant to last, but couples counseling can help make the process easier.

Rampant Distrust

People need to trust each other if they want to have a healthy relationship. Trust is the foundation for vulnerability, intimacy, open communication, and security.

If there’s rampant distrust in your relationship it will be difficult to grow meaningful connections and enjoy the relationship.

Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) is a therapy used in couples counseling that focuses on rebuilding trust and creating a stronger emotional bond. Inner Balance Counseling utilizes this modality as couples therapy to help couples build stronger relationships.

When Things Could Be Better

Relationships can become monotonous. It may feel like you’re simply going through the motions and just existing alongside each other. While these issues usually aren’t major, they can add up, and the relationship will suffer.

Lack of Communication

Say it with me: communication is vital to a healthy relationship.

When your relationship is lacking communication it’s easy to become angry with each other and it’s impossible to meet each other's needs. Your relationship might not be on the brink of ending, but a lack of communication can degrade the health of the relationship. 

Couples counseling like the Gottman method focus most of the time on building healthy communication channels and habits. Healthy relationships have communication that flows freely.

Lack of Romance

When relationships start, it’s all romance all the time. As the relationship continues, the romance will ebb and flow. 

It’s not uncommon for people in a relationship to feel like roommates. Instead of acting like romantic partners by surprising each other, doing something special, and scheduling important time away, the relationship becomes just living together.

Couples counseling helps couples reintroduce and create a vibrant environment in which romance can thrive.

Lack of Time Together

All couples have different living and working situations. Some people may experience extended time away from their partner—work schedules might not align, or someone has to travel for their job, or they have a family emergency and need to go home.

Physical distance can lead to emotional distance within the relationship and cause issues.

Couples counseling can be used to help people in relationships who are struggling with the effects of not seeing each other much. If busy schedules are blocking your ability to get to therapy, online options are just as effective as in-person.

When Things Are Great

When relationships are in a good spot, it’s easy for them to go smoothly. You want to do what you can to maintain this positivity and take care of conflict before it takes hold.

It’s a good time to work on your relationship while things are going well. It will prepare you for conflicts that arise, and give you important tools you can use any time in the future.

Before Marriage

The time before a wedding is filled with so many emotions. The euphoria of the proposal, shopping for venues, picking out colors, and the stress of choosing a guest list—love is in the air.

Getting married is exciting and there is a lot to look forward to, but there is also a lot to get ready for. 

Premarital counseling equips you with important tools to help you adapt to these big changes that happen during the marriage and even the wedding. 

Before Big Changes

Marriage is a big change, but long-term relationships will experience a lot more life changes than that. 

• Long distance
• Unemployment
• Moving
• Opening the relationship
• Buying a home
• Getting a new job

Even exciting and good changes can be challenging to navigate. Couples counseling can be used to make sure you're on the same page with your partner. Even just having a new perspective can help your relationship navigate change better.

It’s Never a Bad Time to Start Investing in Couples Counseling

Couples counseling is a great tool for any relationship at any time. Whether things are good, fine, or bad, it can provide helpful tools to improve connections and build trust.

Inner Balance Counseling offers couples counseling to couples of all kinds. LGBTQIA+, polycules, and monogamous couples are all welcome to seek counseling here. 

Learn about couples counseling at Inner Balance. We use the Gottman method and emotionally focused therapy to help couples build trust, and communication channels, and enjoy their relationship again.

Reach out and schedule a consultation today. You can also get prepared by reading our article about what to expect from couples counseling at Inner Balance.