We typically talk about mindfulness as an internal practice. However, there’s often times where it’s paramount that you connect your personal feelings and actions with those around you. Being mindful of others isn't about "people pleasing"—it’s about presence, empathy, and creating a space where others feel seen and safe.

We can absolutely strike a balance between only “looking out for number one” and being problematically people pleasing. It involves being empathetic and socially aware.

Taking Time to Listen to Others

Take time to actually listen, rather than just waiting for your turn to speak. You may learn more about what their message is, or what their needs are. You can ask, “do you want advice or do you just need to vent?” This shows that you’re invested in what they’re saying.

It goes the other way as well. We’ve talked about trauma dumping, and how unloading your troubles on another without consent can be problematic. In fact, it could be emotionally damaging to the other person. Be mindful of whether they gave consent to listen or whether they want to withdraw it. 

Have Hard Conversations

One common phrase on the internet, especially on forums like Reddit when discussing relationships, is “you don’t owe others anything.” That might be taking things a little too far, and heads into avoidance territory. 

The truth is, you do owe others certain conversations. Show mindfulness towards them by having difficult conversations to put their mind at ease, or allow them to make an informed decision about their next steps. 

Think About What You Would Like Someone To Do For You

Do you ever find yourself wanting someone to ask if you’re ok? Have you ever been grateful for a friend who came over with takeout when you told them you were feeling down? Do you know what it’s like when you say something in a group and no one seems to hear you?

These kinds of social cues are the first part of being mindful of others. If you don’t know what to do, think of what you would want yourself. If you’re in a place emotionally and mentally to support someone, step up and do it. 

This also goes back to the idea that you do owe others something. Even casual acquaintances don’t deserve to be stepped on or ignored just because they aren’t you. 

Healthy Boundaries are Good For Everyone

Boundaries can go both ways, and part of being mindful of others means respecting their boundaries. Just because you may not agree doesn’t mean you can ignore them. Take a beat to think about why they have these boundaries, and what honoring them looks like.

Relationship Therapy at Inner Balance

You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be present.

If you find yourself having a hard time listening to others, cutting people off easily, or are told that you don’t respect boundaries, we’re here to help. We never want you to experience the ill-effects of people pleasing, but we do want you to have healthy, mutually beneficial relationships.

Reach out today to learn how to be more mindful of others with relationship focused therapy at Inner Balance.