Even if you love the holiday season, you might feel some stress or anxiety that comes with it. Whether you get excited for this time of year, you dread it, or you just find it exhausting, your feelings are completely valid. Always remember that others may not feel the same way about the holiday season as you, and it’s important to respect their feelings—as well as your own.

We’re here to help you find peace, safety, and resilience during this holiday season. Let’s talk about a few common reasons that people need help navigating the holidays, and some short-term coping strategies that can make the season a little brighter.

Reach out to Inner Balance today for help navigating holiday stress.

How to Cope With Holiday Anxiety

Let’s start with holiday-specific anxiety. There are a lot of reasons that someone may feel their anxiety spike during the holidays:

• Pressure for the perfect “Hallmark” holiday
• Financial pressure
• Family difficulties
• Loneliness 
• Religious exclusion

It can be hard when Christmastime is marketed as a time of joy and togetherness, but you feel isolated and stressed. We’ll go into more detail later in this article about coping with specific issues that may cause holiday anxiety, but we’ll start with a few general tips for navigating this stress.

• Set Realistic Expectations—Remember that you’re human, not an actor in a movie. You can still enjoy the holiday even if you burn the dinner rolls, your tree isn’t picture perfect, or not everyone in your family can come to the Christmas Eve feast.
• Remember Others May Be Feeling the Same—Keep in mind that stress and anxiety may make you more impatient than you normally are. If everyone is feeling holiday anxiety, it might be hard to work together to have a nice time. Give yourself and others grace, and, again, don’t place unrealistic expectations on yourself or others.
• Set Boundaries—Family dynamics are often a major stressor, and the holidays can seem to exacerbate family issues. Boundaries exist to protect your peace by telling others what behavior is acceptable. They don’t need to be confrontational, but you need to stick by them. It’s ok to tell others that you don’t appreciate what they’re doing.
• Get Outside—In most of Arizona, the winter is mild, and the temperature is perfect to get some fresh air. When the stress is starting to build, take a walk around the block to clear your head. Get ahead of the anxiety by going for a hike or a bike ride regularly. Exercise can improve mental health, especially anxiety.

You can read more about making it through the holidays in our blog article: Mental Health and The Holidays: How to Cope with Holiday Anxiety

How to Cope with Family Issues During the Holidays 

Obviously, many things that lead to holiday anxiety go deeper than the calendar simply switching over to December. We know that family issues can be intensified or put in the spotlight during holiday gatherings.

We understand that family relationships are complicated—it’s not always easy to walk away from your parents, regardless of what your childhood looked like, and you may still depend on people you don’t get along with. 

Even if it’s as simple as being annoyed by a talkative aunt, family can be stressful. Talk to a therapist for specific strategies to deal with strained relationships (If someone has narcissistic tendencies, if you’re experiencing long-term grief, etc.). However, you can do a few things in any situation that can help make for a smoother holiday:

• Remember to take care of yourself—eat, sleep, and do things that are just for you
• Don’t expect people to have changed overnight
• Set clear boundaries and learn to say “no”
• Celebrate the holidays yourself—don’t just cater to others

Read the following resources for more details about navigating family during the holidays:

• What to Do When You Have Family Issues
• Here's What Codependency in Families Looks Like
• How an Abusive Childhood Affects Adult Relationships 
• Intergenerational Trauma Guide 
• Here's How to Recognize Narcissistic Relationship Patterns

How to Cope with Being Alone During the Holidays

Sometimes family isn’t the issue—it’s the lack of family. The holidays often don’t just bring the pressure of perfection. They also bring the pressure of being with people to celebrate.

Feeling lonely during the holidays is something a lot of people deal with. It may be that they’re single or they don’t have a family or support system to celebrate with. It can make the holiday spirit feel intrusive, embarrassing, or unrealistic.

Even if loneliness isn’t something you regularly contend with, this season often triggers unhappy feelings. Just like it can trigger anxiety or depression, it can trigger deep attachment wounds.

Here are a few ways to keep those feelings at bay:

• Lean into your chosen family—Even if you’re not celebrating with friends on the actual holiday, your special day can be whenever you get together.
• Don’t put too much pressure on a single day—The holidays don’t have to be a big deal. If you can’t celebrate with loved ones, it’s ok to treat it like any other day. Do whatever you normally would, get cozy, and enjoy the quiet time.
• Find others who feel the same way—More people spend the holidays alone than you might think. Check Facebook groups, your city’s Sub-Reddit, or Meetup to find groups of new friends that want to hang out. 
• Celebrate with just you—Even if your private celebration doesn’t include the normal feast or present-opening, do something special that’s just for you—make a special dinner, visit some hot springs, or take your dog on a long hike. Remind yourself that your own company is nice to be around.

It’s true, these are simply coping strategies that can give you space to work on deeper issues before and after the holidays. Remember, you’re not alone in your struggles of loneliness, and Inner Balance can help you get to the root of the issue and work with you to find the best way to overcome them.

Learn more about emotional triggers and existential loneliness.

Grief and the Holidays

Big life transitions can be hard to navigate in any circumstance; Navigating big life changes around the holidays is especially difficult. It’s typically a time for family gatherings and joyful celebrations. How are you supposed to do it when you feel a piece of your life is missing?

Whether you lost someone special, moved away from family, or just got bad news, it can be hard to put effort into things, or it can feel inappropriate to be celebrating anything.

Grieving for any reason likely impacts your holiday plans. Remember that it’s ok to both acknowledge the loss and the special time that is the holidays. It’s also ok if you decide that you need to prioritize your grief over holiday celebrations. It’s an incredibly personal journey, and there isn’t a right way to do it.

We understand that a loss can feel even more intense if it happens this time of year. Talk to a counselor at Inner Balance to understand the best way for you to navigate the holiday season while grieving. You can also read our full guide on grief to gain different perspectives about how different people grieve, what journey you may take, and how we can help you resolve it.

Talk to Inner Balance Counseling

It’s ok to think this is the most wonderful time of the year, and it’s ok to dread it. We’re here to help you with whatever is keeping you from feeling like your best self.

Schedule a consultation to get matched with a therapist who has experience treating holiday anxiety. We’re trauma-informed, and we personalize treatment plans for each client based on their experiences and goals.
Reach out. Show up. Feel better. No matter what time of year it is.